somebody else's life part 2 :still not gettin anyware

i woke up . at last. dunno no how long i was out..a day . a week .there was no way of tellin
cldnt remeber . why was i nex t to this river. why was the river exactly the wrong shade of red. why was i iin this sudden shroud of misery ,darkness,anxt , and then a chilll ran over me..didnt know wat it was , green .i cld see the colour green yes.(it shld mean sumthin i figured) cld see it clearly see it in the bright full moon sky,, neatly snuggled to the side of the tree ,green like a cats eyes..and then i found my self carin. cryin. it hit me like a bolt i was here before i had done this the river was red .. i knew why it because it was filled with the blood of the dead
and it was in this river tht everythin wld fade to black .again and again.. shld have ..it didnt .. i remember everythin ..nothin was rite everythin was rong...obviously
i loved her ..why did i do it
.why did i kill ..her!! did i kill her?? and i thought to myself ..its time i had tht morphine ..
my head was hurtin .. it was the only thin keepin me sane ...arghhhhh the pain.. i was spiralin...
my head it was like ...
close very close ,, my head was like a tea cup......